1 am hunger

I donated a ton of hangers to the theater department  at school.

It is nearing 1 AM and I am still awake.  Why? D------ Facebook.  I commented my experience on another colleague post

 I have had several “discussions” with people about when these incidents happen. Their thinking: “if only black people did what the cops said; why do they have to resist arrest” and of course comments from White women about how Black men are scary. They wouldn’t be scary if you talked to them or became their friends. I’m so frustrated with America on this. And I’m tired of these comments of privilege. It is SCARY to be Black man in America. It seems that the establishment wants Jim Crow again, especially the White House. Stepping off my soap box.

In my initial comment, I named the school because that is where all of the conversations took place.  Of  course, someone was offended and said that I was categorizing the school in my comment and "that is frustrating."  The comment was dripping with sarcasm and anger.  The truth hurts and puts many on the defensive.  My response:  

I didn’t classify the entire school. I said I had conversations. All don’t think this way. I found many allies. However, There are some that do! I’m not doing the reverse. I’m testifying to my experience. Now in terms of America, yes. We’ve nearly 150 years since slavery and more than 70 years since desegregation and we can’t get this one thing right? These are not isolated situations. Why should my mom have to have conversations with my brother or her grandson about behavior to save his life from the people who are supposed to protect it. Different POVs for different life experiences.

So I keep thinking, did I burn a bridge by stating facts?   I have told people at my school that we desperately need diversity training.  People say awfully, hurtful things.  I question, did I speak too soon?  Should I have waited the 3 days until my contract is up?  If I take it down, I know someone has already screenshotted it, and then it would look like I said something wrong.  It is my truth.  My experience.  

Secondly, I am starving.  But is it too late to eat and I have already brushed my teeth.  My eating was all off today.  I had to fast for my stress test this morning that went really well.  But then I didn't get to eat lunch until 1pm.  Then, when I got home, I ate two chicken wings and rushed off to make my pool time.  Then I rushed home for a call from one of my new colleagues (actually, a new friend, we have so much in common.). By the time I got off the phone with her, it was 10 and too late to eat.  So I'm sitting here at 1 am hungry.  Korea is going to be fantastic.

ONE GOOD THING:   I didn't take down something I truthfully meant.  People don't like to talk about race and the national conversation is worse since DT has taken the White House.  That baffoon basically encourages "very fine"  racists.  

I am grateful that God made me Black--African American, I am grateful for tightly curled/coiled hair,  brown skin and a soulful spirit.  I am grateful for a new friend, the promise of fun days ahead.  My disastrous  and messy apartment that is causing anxiety.